Monday, September 27, 2010

First Class Weekend

And it was both first-class and the first class in the yoga teacher training undertaking. AS WELL AS the weekend of my AC/DC cover band's big show, so man oh man, talk about trying to be a fun-lovin' social-times haver as well as a student of physical and spiritual discipline!

So teacher training was great. I had a bunch of hesitations about how this was going to go, based on my usual eye-roller type of approach to corny stuff. I mean, when I think of who would be doing the training, I definitely picture corny people with herbs and bells and hugs and stuff. But I am doing it, and I like herbs and bells and hugs and I don't really think of myself as corny, so the first order of business to was confront my judgment against Corniness. The teacher asked us to set an intention for the experience to return to in our minds throughout the next six months, and I decided that mine is to think to myself that I am open to this experience. See, that sounds corny, but I am totally open to that. And it wasn't that corny and neither were the people, really, so there's that. I think I actually am much Cornier than I think I am, and I am totally open to that too. Boom.

The other hesitations were related to the curriculum and the books - there aren't a ton of books in this experience, and just one anatomy book, and the classes this weekend didn't have a touchstone text associated with the learning. I like a reference text to study, and maybe that's coming but maybe not. So I was running into my expectations about what is a credible experience, and I think because I went to law school my opinion about what is legitimate learning is probably way cranked up, like if it's not basically impossible to keep up with what's happening even if you study 24/7, then you're not really doing anything. It's such a puritanical boot-camp kind of mentality. But so far this is a completely different kind of learning, since I really did learn a lot, and again, yes, totally open to that. I actually thought of that when I felt myself feeling disappointed that I probably wouldn't have to memorize the skeletal system and point out bones on a dummy in order to pass the class. I am good at memorizing and this disappointment is probably vanity-related. And I can absolutely do that myself if it increases my own sense of credibility anyway.

What we did do was some ice-breaker stuff, which was nice - 10 women and 1 man I think! Yoga is frequently a chick sport. And then we spent the first day dissecting and critiquing everyone's expressions of two poses. We had to talk each other into the poses and learn some gentle assists to demonstrate alignment for each other, and man is that harder than it sounds. The articulating of how to move one's body is really difficult, and the impulse to over-talk is overwhelming. I just wanted to keep talking, saying things like, "okay, now move your foot - the right foot - wait, I mean front foot - more over to the left, and then think of lifting up - up in the legs, but more over with the torso, but also over, I mean up" - blah blah blah so yeah it's hard to be brief and clear and helpful when speaking, so I will be practicing that on any friends who will let me.

And the learning about the alignment of the poses was good too, and I'm sort of excited to work like crazy on the handful of poses we did this weekend with my new, teacherly insights. Can't wait for the next teacher weekend! Go Team Corny!

So on to the AC/DC show. Yes, Saturday night, after much anticipation, my law school dude buddies and I rocked the be-dickens out of a tiny night club in Albany, NY. I love being in the AC/DC cover band, and I think it's because even though I think of rock and roll and beers and hanging out as being the activities of my "other self," I actually have to really tap into my most disciplined and attentive self to make it work. Because the thing is, I am not actually super great at playing the guitar, and I have to practice and practice and practice and straight up memorize the things that I see other musicians just intuitively understanding (which may be a function of their having practiced like hell to be good, but it always seems like magic to me). This is because even though I have been playing guitar a long time, I never really liked to practice playing guitar that much. I always just strummed and hummed and figured it out without thinking too hard about what was happening, and that was always fine. But to truly rock super hard and super loud and super fun is pretty difficult - and it's because the payoff of rocking out is so exciting in my mind that I can be pretty dedicated to practicing my AC/DC songs. Also I don't want to let down my band mate friends, that would be horrible. Anyway the release available in the moment of the show is most rewarding when I've practiced to the point that I don't have to worry about my hands doing the right thing, I can just go for it, and everyone plays together and can listen to each other without having to worry about getting it right, but just letting it happen. Good stuff.

Time and again in my life I find that discipline is always the gateway to freedom. Learning the dance moves so you can flail with abandon. Getting in shape so you can hike to the more beautiful view. Learning the chords so you can just play and have fun. I think I know this somewhere inside me about yoga and the spiritual stuff, too - I know that somewhere on the other side of the breathing and the poses and the meditation is unlimited abandon and freedom (corny meter off the charts with that). It just takes a lot of practice and focus to experience that abandon, and I know the kernel of desire for that payoff is in me, I just need to embrace the Corniness and all that stuff and let that kernel grow as big as my desire to rock out.

Hoorah, continuity! Totally just threaded yoga and AC/DC together for myself.

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