Well I failed in the regimen this weekend, in that I did no yoga on Saturday. But I am letting it slide in my mind since I was camping in the Catskills. Nature stuff enjoyment is definitely an activity that increases my happiness. Walking and biking for sure, and ever since my big brother took me camping in the insane majesty of someplace, Colorado, waking up outside is a little mini-goal I keep in my brain's to-do files. I am pretty sure I actually enjoy this as opposed to just believing that I should enjoy it since it sounds so wholesome and my neat-o brother thinks it's cool.
But anyway actual enjoyment is the point I'm getting to - I went to a festival thing when I was camping, with bunches of people and jam bands and corny tie-dye vendors and bad burritos. And I enjoyed myself. This is remarkable. I am historically a huge pill about these things. Bleh, the people and porta-johns, the fitful sleeping-bag sleep interfered with by endless drum-circling, and noodle jam music that goes nowhere and evokes nothing and that I definitely don't care about, and scene-sters who elevate the whole thing to the point where you have to have a phd in the history of lame-os hanging out to even know what they're talking about.
But I loved it! I didn't care! The music wasn't even that compelling but I really liked it! And I ate only beans and cheese all day and that was fine! I barely slept in my tent but that was okay too! We sort of got lost trying to find the place but I felt no anxiety about it! On and on about all the usual irritations that did not affect me negatively! And I made friends and danced like a nerd and didn't change my clothes for two days! Exclamation point!
Anyway I am citing this experience as evidence that my practicing being happy with yoga and meditation is going to be really effective. Not that enjoying something I don't usually enjoy means that I'm cured of my general misery or anything after only a short time of working on it, that would be impossible (since I love and clutch and tend to my misery like a cherished, ratty, snuggly thing), but I am hugely heartened by this experience. I gave it the old "what the hell I should use this tent my brother gave me so whatever and it'll be hilarious" - and from the general sense that any outdoor stuff and especially camping is something I want to see if I can actually enjoy myself with - and it turned out to be really affirming. I can absolutely learn to turn my mindset to happiness and be psyched for life all the time. I am excited to practice more.
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